From friends to Complicated?!?!

 I saw Matt on Wednesday and didn’t get up the courage to ask him out for coffee and for that, I am currently kicking myself. 

Besides the fact that I didn’t get the courage to ask Matt out for coffee there is another reason why I did not ask him.

On Tuesday, I received a phone call from my Ex, we talked for a bit, and then he asked me if I wanted to hang out. I said sure. We had not seen each other for over a month and we agreed that it would be nice to see each other and just hang out as friends. 

About two hours later, we are sitting outside on the deck hanging out and talking. ( I made sure I looked hot but did not shave the leg stubble I had to help me refrain from any intimate activities just in case the opportunity presented it self) It started out weird He put his hand on my knee and then quickly pulled back realizing what he had just done. He apologized and explained that he had forgotten that that was not appropriate at that time since we were not together any more. I just laughed and said it was ok, and explained that knee touching was ok. At some point, I gave him a hug and later found him asking me for two more within 15 min. the last hug I gave him resulted in a kiss. A kiss that oozed longing from both ends.

Shortly after the kiss, we go inside and he decides that he wants to watch a movie. A Movie indeed. We watched the movies for about 10 minutes before we were all over each other. The opportunity presented itself and I said, “I don’t know I haven’t shaved since Saturday and have a bit of stubble. After I said this he proceeded to rub my legs and said that’s nothing and I really don’t care about that I just want you...

10 minutes later I found myself in the throws passion with my ex. It was the best sex we had ever had, it was more unguarded and animalistic. It was great. We finished and got dressed, finished the rest of the movie, cuddled and talked.

I am still feeling the after math of Tuesday a little bit in my thighs, hips, lower stomach muscles and for some odd reason my left arm.

Over all the night was really good but now the fact that that happened mucked up things and is making it harder to figure things out.

I'm young and stupid. I just couldn’t say no. I’m not sure what is next but all I know is that I guess I am going to have to learn the hard way.

So much for boyfriend rehab.